I’m in a bit of a pickle.
I’ve got that nasty feeling of being overwhelmed.
I thought it had gone away, but it’s back again.
Although this time I’m not worried by it – I’m happy.
Picture: facebunnies
I do what I like
I’m busy doing the things I like to do but not necessarily the things I need to do. I’m getting stuff done and I’m achieving but I’m also neglecting other important aspects of my life. Before too long the neglected bits will come back to bite me.
Fully committed
When I started as a Stay At Home Dad, I threw myself into it. I started decluttering and organising. I got a grip of my financial situation. I got exercising and losing weight. I learnt to cook. I had the house clean and tidy from top to bottom every day.
I was getting up at 5.30am and doing my most important tasks first. My days started calmly with a plan, and they ended calmly too. And for all that I felt proud.
And now? Well, yesterday morning I was in a stupid rush to get out of the door by 8.15, and my mood changed when it didn’t happen.
I regret to say that I took my bad mood out on my children. I had no tolerance for their boisterous behaviour on the way to school and I snapped at them. There was no harm done but I overreacted and that made me feel even worse.
It wasn’t the fact that I was five minutes late out the door. It was the fact that I didn’t prepare the night before.
Then when I thought about it a bit more I acknowledged that I was letting my life get out of control (again).
You see it wasn’t just the lack of preparation, it’s other things too.
I’m not exercising. I’m not losing weight; I’m gaining it. I haven’t looked at my finances (properly) for over a month. I’m going to bed late and getting up late. I’m eating crap again. I feel run down and I’ve had a cold for weeks.
I’ve slipped backwards, nearer to the person I used to be rather than towards the person I want to become. This is not the kind of example I want to set for my children.
A welcome distraction
I like blogging. It fits with my future and it fits with my present, but it’s been a massive distraction for me for the last few weeks.
I launched this blog prematurely. I wasn’t ready.
I did so because I’d read a great article by Nick Cernis called The One Month Launch. I thought it was excellent because it appealed to both the perfectionist and the procrastinator parts of my personality. I knew that if I didn’t set a deadline, it might be months before I was finally ready.
So I did it. I put aside other activities and I worked my backside off to get it all set up. I picked the date of our wedding anniversary to launch, and wrote a fitting post.
So I launched
But would you believe my shitty luck? People actually came to my pages and interacted with me leaving comments and more comments. That wasn’t supposed to happen! I was supposed to have at least two months where the only people commenting were me and my imaginary friend.
I thought I’d have plenty of time to write posts and get a foundation of content down before anyone really took any notice. How wrong was I?
If any of this sounds like a complaint. It’s not. It’s me being sarcastic. I’m just silly that way.
I’m absolutely thrilled that people have come to talk to me and I thank each and every one of you who has read or commented. It’s added an extra element of excitement and fun to each day.
But boy has it gripped me in a way I wouldn’t have believed.
I love it and I’m here to stay, but I need to get on with the rest of the things in my life.
The truth is I’ve been spending spent too much time blogging and it’s had a knock on effect in other areas.
Blogging in itself isn’t the problem, it’s my use of time or rather my misuse of it. I need to get a bit cleverer about how I fit all the bits of my life together because I don’t want to let any of them go.
I’m going to fix it
I’m going back to the start, and I’m going to recapture what I had a few short months ago. My blog launch panic is over, and my three-week cold is coming to an end. I believe I can have a new ‘fresh start’ whenever I want. So that’s what I’m going to do.
Here’s what’s on my agenda at the moment (in no particular order):
- Fun
- Finance
- Fitness
- Fat loss
- Diet (i.e. nutrition)
- Organisation
- Household Management
- Family and Relationships
- Personal Development
- Relaxation
I’m looking forward to doing this. I felt invigorated the first time round and I know it won’t take too much to get back on track.
That’s why I’m happy
The most satisfying thing I’ve taken from this experience is seeing how I’ve developed. I’ve improved, definitely.
The old me would have gone back to watching TV for hours on end justifying it as being necessary relaxation. The new me recognises the problem and does something about it.
Being overwhelmed again has allowed me to recognise how far I’ve come and that perhaps I am closer to being the man I want to be than I first thought.
….and that’s why I’m happy.
If you’re in the mood to share, It would be great to know how you recognise when you’re overwhelmed and what do you do about it?
Dave
