Nigella Lawson is a beautiful woman, of that there’s no doubt. I’m tempted to litter this post with pictures of Nigella, but I’ll stick with just the one. What I really would like is to get my hands on a Nigella Lawson calendar. I’d be a happy man, but I can’t find one anywhere. And I’m talking about a calendar with pictures of Nigella, and not pictures of her food!
Failing that, I’d settle for a Nigella Lawson T-shirt for Christmas. Ah, wishful thinking!
This post isn’t all about the domestic goddess though, there’s other stuff too. I’m afraid it’s meme time.
Back in November 2008, the then ’soon to be ex-unpublished author’, Tim Atkinson – whose blog Bringing Up Charlie a year in the life of a stay-at-home dad – tagged me with ‘The Random Factor’.
Since then, Tim has become a published author (congratulations Tim) with his new book Writing Therapy (this is Tim’s own link (because I’m good like that)).
Now that he’s a mega-star celebrity blogger I thought I’d better keep him sweet in case I ever want something from him later.
So here we go, six random facts about me:
1. I grew up in the great county of Yorkshire in a village called Baildon. I wouldn’t say I’m a typical Yorkshireman
2. The one and only time I won a judo competition I took my girlfriend (now my wife) along to watch me fight. Typical alpha male macho bullshit, I know.
3. I used to love the Cider Lollies the ice cream vans used to sell in the 1970s.
4. During my vasectomy the nurse moved my tallywhacker around excessively trying to get a ‘reaction’. Nurses play cruel games! Cow!
4a. Oh, yeah… I’ve had a vasectomy – four children are not enough really but we can’t afford any more.
5. I’ve got a thing about Nigella Lawson, she’s a British size 16 and she’s just fabulous . Fabulous.
6. I used to see scary red faces in my bedroom wall when I was four years old. We lived in a house where there’d been a violent murder.
OK, I feel bad about tagging other people, but I’m going to do it anyway, so Avlor, with your fantastic new site design, you’re it.
PS Did I mention that Nigella Lawson is gorgeous?
{ 35 comments… read them below or add one }
She’s cute, but she’s no Meryl Streep.
Matthew Dryden´s last blog post..Losing My Way
Cider lollies were the best.
I type this from my desk in …. Baildon!
Laura´s last blog post..A Cavernous Cavity
Oh hell, this is just going to descend into some kind of girl fest for you guys isn’t it?
I worked with someone who had a thing for the British javelin thrower Tessa Sanderson.
Totally don’t get the Nigella thing men have. Sure she looks fabulous but she’s so bloody ridiculous on her TV shows when she does that pouty aside to camera and talks about her dumplings. Oh, yes, of course, now I get it . . .
Tara@Sticky Fingers´s last blog post..I love you, but
I love that you’re kissing up to authors you knew when…and I didn’t really get the Nigella thing until I read Tara’s comment. She explained it perfectly. My favorite part though is that four children aren’t really enough. I wonder if I’d have the mental fortitude for four.
Tricia´s last blog post..It’s Not Really A Circle, Is It?
Matthew,
All I can say (light heartedly of course) is that I’m so glad she’s not. And might I enquire as to the last time you had your eyes checked?
Laura,
No Way!! That’s too freaky!
I miss Baildon. My mum used to work in the chippy at the top of the village (as did I for a while as a Saturday job) and I’ve still got friends in Baildon, although I haven’t spoken to them in years – even though I was visiting my sister in Yeadon the week before Christmas and could easily have called them up. I’m a git!
I’m not sure if the ice cream vans still sell the cider lollies. I hope so.
Tara,
Well I never! I don’t know what sort of man you think I am? But I’m certainly no sleazy wolf whistling kind of sexist mysogonistic misogoniser (it’s a word) kinda guy. *oodles of mock indignaton*
So we’re not impressed that I’m celebrating the curvier woman? Pah! You’re never satisfied you lot *still with the mock indignation*
LMAO Tara. You’re on good form today.
Tricia,
I’m in a cheeky playful mood today hence the revelation about NL.
Were my circumstances different financially i.e. I could afford more kids and have space to put them, my wife and I would certainly have had more children. Sue enjoyed being pregnant. I liked it too because pregnant women have a radiant quality which is empowering for them and beautiful for others to see. If we ever achieved a degree of financial wealth I could easily see us wanting to adopt.
There are economies of scale that go with having more children which make it easier than you might think. It’s only when they get sick or some other mishap befalls us that we struggle.
I suspect you’d fare very well given what I know of your outlook on life!!
Tagged? Eep! I’d better post something soon then. (man I thought I could slack off after work on my blog and getting the domain put on new nameservers….)
Avlor´s last blog post..Dropcloth for Legos
So the judo competition sealed it for you and your wife? Girlish sigh over a romance.
Avlor´s last blog post..Dropcloth for Legos
Avlor,
You know full well that there’s no rest for the wicked
I hope you’re going to tell the story of the blog redesign and move?
It’s funny but the day I won the Judo competition I was relaxed. Normally I’m a bundle of nerves at those events and it impairs my performance. I felt different that day. Better somehow. I suspect it was totally because me wife was there that I won.
I always thought women hated to see men fighting – but maybe in a controlled environment it has its appeal?
I don’t think it was romance that day. I think it was just a sweaty testosterone stinking man thing. The real romance is a story I’ve been saving .
Well done, old bean! Spiffing post!
Oh, and thanks for the shameless plug, mate – cheques in the post (know what I mean?).
Tim´s last blog post..Cheat!
And I almost forgot the most important bit – she is! Absolutely! (Tara, take heed!)
Tim´s last blog post..Cheat!
she is quite beautiful
trisha
trisha´s last blog post..List your Contests Here Now (linky!)
Tim,
No need for cheques. Just send me some rusty pins.
And OH YES SHE IS!!!!!
Hi Trisha,
You know, I thought I was going to get called out as a sexist pig today. So I’m glad you think Nigella is beautiful.
Thanks for the visit!
Dave, sometimes we like our guys to get a little rough and tumble. You’ll have to tell about the romance. Real stories are much better than movies.
Avlor´s last blog post..“New Look” and Tagged
Fantastic taste, Dave. Good on ya.
Happy New Year! ‘09 will be one to beat, my friend.
Writer Dad´s last blog post..Blogopolis Broadcast
No, No, No and No, to the cider lollies.
Yes, yes, yes to Yorkshire villages, having lived in one myself.
Hmmm, Hmmm, Hmmm to Nigella. Not sure about posh birds who act like catering for 400, whilst looking so glam is a breeze.
Please tell us more about your old house which was a setting for a violent murder. Sounds gruesome and intriguing at the same time.
Also, why was the nurse trying to get a ‘reaction’ from you during your vasectomy? For medical reasons or was it some kind of thing you could possibly sue for?
Tsk. You guys! I’m all for celebrating her curves, it’s her blatant 1970s-style innuendo I can’t abide. I guess it hooks in a certain type of man . . .
By the way, I have a very good friend who is the spitting image of Nigella. Only better.
And now you can’t come over for a visit.
Tara@Sticky Fingers´s last blog post..I love you, but
@Tara
I’m sure neither of us would ever overtly drool over some guy. Like I would ever do that over say Hugh Jackman or Takeshi Kaneshiro. Sigh and wilt. (eep.)
Avlor´s last blog post..“New Look” and Tagged
Err Avlor. I really really like you and respect you and will continue to follow you where ever you shall write, but GET YOUR STINKIN HANDS OFF HUGH JACKMAN.
No you’re right, girls just don’t make a fool of themselves over men in the same way as men drool over women . . .
Tara@Sticky Fingers´s last blog post..I love you, but
Avlor,
I keep threatening to tell it but now doesn’t feel like the right time.
I also need to try and dig out some keepsakes relating to the romance but they’re buried deep under other stuff in the loft. Certainly this year though!
WriterDad,
Happy New Year to you too.
2009 will be a great year. I’m just going to follow you around the place, because you’re going somewhere good.
Aconfusedtakethatfan,
What was that you said? I lost you at ‘posh birds’. *Homer Simpson, “Hmmmmm… Posh Birds…”*
It’s funny that I wrote about the murder house but you’re the first to mention it. I mean, it’s a murder house for goodness sake! Plus you were the only one to mention the tallywhacker episode. I mean this is a great post. There’s murder, evil spirits, fighting, romance, posh birds, dumplings, penis, alcohol, food, nostalgia and naughty nurses. It surely doesn’t get much better than this?!
Anyway, I’ll come back to both of those incidents sometime later, they might make for good posts!!
Tara,
As you know I’m all about the 1970s style innuendo. Anyway, it was my formative decade.
I was listening to Dale Winton doing Pick of the Pops on Radio 2 and realised that most of the music I like is influenced strongly by the music of 1972 to 1974. Arrrggghhh. Kill me now.
Avlor/Tara,
The least you can do is let me get the inflatable paddling pool out while you chose your bikinis. Oooops…. And I’m right back in the 70s again.
@Dave
Bikinis are right out. It’s too hard to put one on over snowpants and coat. The stay-puff marshmallow character does NOT belong in a bikini and that’s gist of what it’d be like .
@Tara
Love ya’ too, and I thought I was sharing (sniff).
Avlor´s last blog post..“New Look” and Tagged
Avlor,
Darn it. So it’s back to Nigella for me then!?
@Avlor
Oh go on then I’ll share. Only because it’s you mind.
Tara@Sticky Fingers´s last blog post..I love you, but
Agreed – great post.
Am slightly concerned for you with the naughty nurse thing and the murder house.
I beg of you to post about them some day soon…well, maybe not beg. But would be good to read, yah?
aconfusedtakethatfan´s last blog post..Sprouts ARE Unsociable…
Re #6 Red Rum …Red Rum!!!!
Urban Panther´s last blog post..Making a bigger contribution
I came late to the game today, but you made me laugh so it must be a great post and yes! yes! it did include all the variables for great writing and good eye catching photo…oh no now I have been to the perfect blog post of the day…
I have to go to bed now – nothing else with come even close…
Patricia´s last blog post..Book Review: Transitions ~William Bridges
# 6 is so, SO spooky!!!
She has letters on her chest. Didn’t we just discuss this over at my blog?
Tara/Avlor,
Alternate days and he gets Sunday off.
aconfusedtakethatfan,
If I had the ability to write a novel there might be the basis for one in “the naughty nurse thing and the murder house”. And yah!!
Panther,
LMAO Sorry to disappoint the face wasn’t Red Rum and neither was the murder!
Patricia,
). Thank you!! 
It’s never to late to party here. I always think that if I can make myself laugh, it might work for others (it’s no guarantee though
Vered,
Spooky it was!
And LMAO. I think I’ve proven my point. I am man. I am dumb. Hehehe.
I share your admiration for the Queen of Gastroporn.
R.A.D. Stainforth´s last blog post..Gaza Strip
See see, I told you. “gastroporn”. RAD said it!
Tara@Sticky Fingers´s last blog post..I love you, but
R.A.D. Stainforth,
Nice to see you weighing in on this. Clearly you have excellent taste.
I prefer to think of her as an Eroticook.
Tara,
You take that back, this instant young lady! R.A.D. didn’t really mean it and was probably drunk.
Now Dave, I wasn’t drunk when I posted that comment, but I am now. La Lawson is not only Queen of Gastroporn, but also Empress of Innuendo. Soya dumplings?
R.A.D Stainforth
I wish I were drunk right now. Just enough to take the edge off the day. I might try and find a good bottle of wine and pour some lemonade in with it.
Ms Lawson, know what it takes to sell to the masses. I’m fairly sure she doesn’t speak like that in the company of her husband or father. Although, if I ever meet her I hope she mentions her dumplings.
Ok – now I have to figure out what a British size 16 is. And I’ll play along with the guys – I’m straight but I’ve got a thing for Angelina Jolie.
Recently, friend and I were discussing whether it would bother us to live somewhere where a violent crime had occurred – I don’t recall how this came up. Did you know there had been a murder there when you saw the faces or did you find out later? I once saw things like dancers in the canopy on my mother’s bed but later realized I was in her bed because I had a really high fever.
Kim Woodbridge´s last blog post..Lessons in Backing Up – The Journalspace Disaster
simply put i love nigella. I’m 33 and i love older women and i hate waif like women too. I love nigella’s proportions and a night with her and a tub of liquid chocolate is my greatest fantasy, my wife to be knows this and is fully supportive of it. She’s 2 days older than me. She loves daniel craig coming out of the water in his jocks. Just thought i’d share that with y’all.