I’ve got to get more storage.
My current arrangements make me want to cry, even though I’m a big tough man. And I am.
Everything I own is in easy reach of my children.
I swear that they do it on purpose. Every day they pull out every damn book, every damn toy and every damn floor puzzle jigsaw then chuck them in the middle of the living room floor, and for what?
Just for the sake of doing it.
That’s all.
Nothing else.
They don’t play a game. They don’t read the books. They don’t solve a puzzle.
They just make a big pile of crap.
And by way of celebration they take all the cushions off the sofas, unfold all the throws before moving on to trash the next room.
It’s 2pm now and if the house isn’t tidy by the time my wife gets home, I’ll never have to worry about shaving ever again.
I still need to walk the dog, collect the boys from school, make dinner and get this place spotless before 4.30pm.
So what the hell am I doing writing this??
I’m off.
Bye!!
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{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }
Do you have any idea how neat it is to hear a dad sound just like a mom! I promise, even if you get more storage, they still make big piles of crap all over the house. I only have one child and the exact thing you’re talking about is the bane of me anal-retentive existence!
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Trica
I really want to live the ‘everything has a place and there’s a place for everything’ life. That would be blissful.
It’s not that I hate clutter as such, it’s just that I get fed up picking up the same items over and over and over again. It’s like a recurring nightmare!
BTW, I got it all done in time! I amazed myself.
Sounds very familiar. Husband has just walked through the door and I have yet to tidy my big pile of crap! Mind you, am trying to discourage him from shaving, if you know what I mean…
Also, a new trophy for your cabinet over at my place. C’mon over…
aconfusedtakethatfan´s last blog post..I Am Rubbish…It’s Official. (But I Do Have An Award For Being Good…)
LOL, this made me laugh out loud. This is so my kids. They can desimate a room in 2.5 seconds, especially my youngest. He dumps the entire bookcase and when I ask him what he’s doing he says “I lookin’ Mama.”
deconstructing jen´s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday #8
Typical kids.
We have to have a family pick up session at least once a day or the house is a wreck!
(Pats Dave on back for getting house in order.)
Avlor´s last blog post..Wii Fit and Blog to Fit Update #8
You’re going to hate me now, but my two are really tidy!
They pull a jigsaw out, do it, put it back in the box and put it back on the shelf.
Years of wipping and ass kicking work wonders! Kidding kidding.
My son has a friend who I DREAD coming over to play. He literally empies every single toy/book/game onto the floor and THEN chooses which one he wants to play with. Seriously buddy, pick one while it’s on the shelf why don’t you?
i think maybe I’m a bit OCD in that department. I cannot stand my house looking like a plastic playground!
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And of course they put it all back, right? Right?! I think my brother and I are horribly mean parents. I used the following strategy with my kids, and my brother does now with his. The kids get a 15 minute warning to clean up. Then the garbage bag comes out. And the toys left out get put in the garbage bag. And disappear. Not necessarily forever. My kids had to ‘buy’ their stuff back with hard labour. My neice and nephew slowly get one piece back at a time for angelic behaviour. Trust me, you don’t need to do this more than once or twice. But then again, I think my brother and I are horribly mean parents.
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@Urban Panther – That idea rocks. I’m going to snitch it.
Avlor´s last blog post..Wii Fit and Blog to Fit Update #8
My two kids are exactly the same as you. I try to encourage them to help me to tidy up and that’s when they need a drink/need to pee/hurt their knee….
Perhaps it’s just normal.
aconfusedtakethatfan
More storage! It HAS to be the solution. Out of sight out of mind.
Think yourself lucky. Some husbands shave twice a day.
An award??? Woooo hooooo. Ya mo be there.
Jen
“I lookin’ Mama.” LMAO
There’s obviously something deeply satisfying about pulling books off shelves.
Avlor
Thanks for the pat o the back. I certainly earned it
When the boys got home from school yesterday I enlisted their help and made a game out of it.
I only wish they wouldn’t trash the joint in the first place.
Tara
The state of my house is one of the reasons I’m not particularly sociable at home. Seriously, people who arrive without prior notice are left standing on the doorstep and glared at for having the cheek to come round to my untidy house. The nerve of some people.
Panther
I’m loving that idea!! The 15/10/5 minute warning is something I’ve adopted recently for almost everything I do with the children. I read it somewhere in a response to another post I’ve written. I just can’t remember which one or who said it.
Robert
Hi Robert, they make me laugh when they do that. I must make a list of the excuses I’ve heard. The best excuses of all come when the children get out of bed only TWO minutes after being tucked in and the lights going out.
I bagged up the kids’ crap and held it for two weeks. If they didn’t earn it back during that time, it went directly to the local charity.
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GreenJello
I wonder if the same would work with my wife’s clothes??
Ohmy, what wonderful ideas from GreenJello and Urban Panther. I like, I will try, I will probably cave.
I am like you Dave, if I don’t get a heads up that I have a visitor coming, I hide behind the sofa and pretend I’m not in, or only open the door a tiny bit so they can’t see the old toast crusts from breakfast still laying around despite it being nearly lunchtime. I like a clean house. But sometimes I take a day off and those are always the days I get caught out. I feel like saying, bloomin’ ‘eck, come back at 2.30pm when the house is always immaculate or alternatively 8pm. But do they, nope. They always come at the time when child is wandering around in just a vest and there’s a stinky old nappy by the door, the dishwasher hasn’t been unloaded so the dirty dishes are stacked on the sink waiting to go in and crumbs are all over the surfaces…
sorry, I am going on a bit? You seem to have hit a nerve…
aconfusedtakethatfan´s last blog post..I Am Rubbish…It’s Official. (But I Do Have An Award For Being Good…)
aconfusedtakethatfan
I’m hearing you loud and clear! I totally understand.
I love a tidy house but sometimes I spend a whole week catching up with the chores. On the whole though the house is tidy twice a day, but that never seems to coincide with the arrival of unexpected callers. It just shouldn’t be allowed. People should give notice of their intentions to visit. I can’t just drop all my commitments to entertain people, I have important crap I need to deal with. Important. Crap. Deal with! Ya know!
Welcome to the word of Stay At Home Parents!!!
Kirst´s last blog post..200th Post “Caption Contest” Giveaway
Opps that was supposed to say world!
Kirst´s last blog post..200th Post “Caption Contest” Giveaway
Kirst,
It’s a wonderful world. Much more rewarding than I ever imagined but O – M – G the MESS. While tidying the living room today the girls crept into the kitchen and emptied all the pots and pans from the cupboard onto the floor.
That’s when I sat down and had a cup of tea. LOVELY!
To whittle down clothes: Have your wife take all her clothes out of the closet, and then put them back in, with all the hangers in backwards. Then, when you hang up clothes you’ve used and washed again, put them back in the right way. After a month, you will see what clothes you haven’t used. Time to donate them.
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GreenJello
That’s a genius trick. I note you suggest I get my wife involved in the process rather than going ahead without her knowledge. Hehehehe.
Wow I feel for you all! My son is 15 months old, however he still manages to take all of his toys out of his toy box Everyday! But the problem that I have is that hes still too young to really assist with the clean up…well not without making things worse. So I end up waiting till naptime to put everything back, only to have him rip it all apart again by dinnertime..its a never ending struggle. Basicly ive determined the only time that all of his toys are in some sembelance of order is when hes unconcious! I completly get the whole having company over idea, that if they dont give me 24hours notice its a no go! Any body have any ideas on how to politly say ” my house looks like a hurricane hit it im sorry im not up for company”?
I like all the neat ideas I’ve heard especially the earning toys back in a set amount of time or else they go to to the local goodwill… marvelous idea! However, what do I do about my kids when they’ve punctured holes in the walls in literally every room in my home, written in crayon, marker, ink pen, and in anything else that will leave a legible mark on the walls, and doors? My kids are very unruly, they go about the day in their own rambunctious ways, leaving my house in utter chaos… guests? HEHE that is for to laugh…… I don not have guests not even family over unless I get notice a few days in advance. That ways i can manage to clean what the guests will see…..and what they don’t see is shoved in closets, down the basement stairs, or wherever else I can hide the clutter temporarily. It’s a never ending struggle to keep house on a daily basis, especially with three children under 7. I have no help either… I am married, but my husband works night shift (11 pm to 7 am) 6 days a week, and he crashes when he gets home. So help from him is pretty much out of the question, plus he is the type of guy that believes women should do all the housework.
I feel like a single parent some days. Any advice?
I have a friend who is a single parent with two children, 10 and 14. She works full time and does everything she can to be involved with their activities. But, she can clean house and go to work and come home to a total trashing. They throw all their garbage, dirty clothes, toys, junk, anything they use and are done with, on the floor. She has tried throwing it all away and they really don’t care. I clean for her once a week and it is like a horror scene walking in the door. I spend four hours cleaning and it is no different the next day. She is at her wits end. She knows she went wrong somewhere. But, she does not know how to get through to them when they really don’t care what she is saying.